10 Guilty Pleasures All Women Have

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I’ve come to find that there are just some universal indulgences all women share—on the down low, that is.

As the more intelligent, prideful species, we have a difficult time admitting our questionable idiosyncrasies so we keep them to ourselves (knowing perfectly well that the women around us are doing the very same). It’s sort of like an unspoken pact—we know we’re weird, but we can’t let the men know.

1. Cyber Stalking

It’s not just about stalking your ex or crush; it can really be anyone you’re uber-fascinated with. More often than not, women cyber stalk other women—whether it be because we’re jealous, disgusted, bored, you name it and there sits a woman clicking away aimlessly through 1,570 pictures dating back to 2007.

2. Eating Less Than Those Around You

In restaurants across American you’re almost guaranteed to hear the following:

“Oh my God, I’m so starving; I had basically nothing to eat today.”

            “Me either! I had, like, a granola bar, but I don’t need much food.”

Cut to: both girls order a salad and claim that they’re now very full before going home and eating an entire package of Oreos.

3. Fishing For Compliments

You know the drill: a bunch of girls sitting around complaining about microscopic flaws that warrant absolutely no such complaint waiting for their friends to chime in saying “no way!! You’re perfect.”

4. Slut Shaming

Women get mad at men for using the word “slut” but in actuality it’s women who are at the forefront of shaming promiscuity. We love to talk about how easy other girls are while justifying our own sexual behavior. The fact of the matter is it’s no one’s fucking business how much sex you’re having or not having.

5. My Life Is Harder

When a group of women get together it’s like the complaining Olympics. We love to talk about how hard our lives are and more than that, we love to talk about how much harder our lives are then yours.

6. Look What I Have

Women will buy things they don’t even like for the sole purpose of saying “I have it and you don’t,” or “mine is better than yours.” For example, some of us (me included) will buy $65.00 foundation from Sephora when the $12.99 brand from CVS works just as well.

7. The Opposite Sex

Whether we’re talking about how much we love them, or how much we hate them, rest assured we are always talking about men.

8. The Lazy Game

Despite incessantly talking about our accomplishments we also enjoy discussing how little we’re capable of doing as well—“I slept all day,” “I watched 42 episodes of *blank* on Netflix,” “I don’t think I saw sunlight at all this weekend.” It’s all a pissing contest about who can be more sloth like—it doesn’t make sense but not much about women does.

 9. I’d never do that

We are a self-righteous breed to be sure and we love milking our moral superiority.

Example:

“I really want to go sky diving.”

“That sounds cool. I mean, I don’t see the sense in risking your life for a few minutes of adrenaline but that’s fine if it’s what you’re into.”

“*about a guy* He’s really cute and sweet, I think I’m going to keep talking to him.”

“Well, he’s not my type and I’d never pursue him but it’s really about what makes you happy.”

In laymen’s terms these statements can be categorized as backhanded compliments.

10. Girls are the worst

A lot of women love to put down their species by saying that women are awful, conniving creatures but the reality is, is that we need each other. Sometimes it’s fun to try and separate yourself as a woman of unique quality, “who’s nothing like the rest of them” but we’re all a lot more alike than we tend to admit.

Melissa Copelton | News Cult

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