Don’t Hold Relationship Grudges
In every unsuccessful relationship there’s always a ‘point of no return.’ Since hindsight is 20/20 we can’t always tell when it’s upon us but we can always tell when we look back. That one argument, that one sentence, maybe even that one word that changed the way you felt going forward. It altered every single future communication that you shared. It probably altered the way you kissed and the way you held hands too. But what if you could have prevented it? Done something different? Would it change the way the rest of the relationship played out?
What if I told you it was simpler than that? That no argument, or sentence or word changed the course of your relationship, but that instead it was the combination of everything you did afterword that made the entire thing break apart?
Instead of looking back and thinking about that one horrific thing that affected everything else, we ought to analyze why we couldn’t move forward from it. By holding onto whatever the issue was, we create a relationship environment in which new problems continuously and repeatedly seem to pop-up. And, perhaps, each argument or issue that arises seems to get worse and worse. Welcome to the drama cycle, there’s only one way that this will end. Start creating your online dating profiles right now.
“So, why’d your last relationship end?” – It hasn’t yet, but it will because I can’t get over that thing he said from 7 and a half months ago.
During an argument, there’s always at least one person who just wants the argument to end. Which means they say things (that they may not mean) just so we can move forward with life. I know because I’m most definitely that person. Since the issue never fully gets resolved, on either end, because the argument has been brought to a screeching halt by an incredibly hot chick getting naked so the guy would just shut up, the issue ends up rising from the dead a few weeks or months later when something completely unrelated comes up.
The thing to note is the severity of the argument. Especially if it led to actually breaking up & then getting back together. Each time you do that – and put yourself through some heart-wrenching pain – it eats away at the closeness of your relationship just a little bit. And maybe you really do get over the first few times, but 18 arguments and 17 break ups later, it may start to feel like you’re kissing a stranger. The person whose intelligence, opinions, and conversations you once valued becomes a foreign memory that you keep trying to revive.
It’s hard to move forward when an issue never actually gets resolved. So instead of taking the easy way out of an argument, sometimes, it’s best to actually hash it out and find a real way to move forward. Holding relationship grudges only creates more problems down the line & there comes a point where getting naked is no longer enough to end the fighting.