Is Halloween the Perfect Holiday for a One Night Stand?
You’re too old to go door-to-door begging for chocolates, but you can indulge in adult pleasures. This Halloween, instead of stuffing your mouth with candy, you can taste something even sweeter. Always wished you landed a date with that football player in high school? Go home with the dude wearing a mouth guard. Wish you were born back in the 50s? Have fun with a zombie Elvis. Halloween is your best chance to make your fantasy a reality. Here’s why:
1. Okay to be Skimpy
On any other day, you’d be judged for leaving your house with a skintight skirt and bra. But as long as you pop some cat ears onto your head, you’ll get compliments on your costume. Halloween has become so sexualized that it’s hard to go to a party without finding some half-naked hottie that you’re willing to sleep with. Take advantage of the sexual freedom of the day, and give yourself a real treat.
2. Ready to Roleplay
If you’re a shy little kitten, Halloween is your time to shine. You’ll be dressed up like someone else, so there’s no need to dwell on your personal insecurities. They don’t exist—not today. Today, you’re Princess Leia, or *insert another sexy, confident woman here.*
3. Made to be Mysterious
Don’t want your coworkers to criticize you for being ‘easy’ Monday at work? Well, as long as you wear heavy make-up or a mask, you can get dirty without anyone realizing you were the witch who was making out with their boyfriend. It’s hiding in plain sight.
4. Meet New People
You don’t want to have a one-night stand with someone you see every time you step into the office. You want to find a stranger that you won’t run into again. Whether you’re at a pal’s party or waiting for single fathers to knock on your door, you’re sure to find someone unfamiliar enough to bang.
5. Friends, Not Family
Most holidays require you to visit your grandmother, or at least call her. Halloween, on the other hand, is a friend-based event. Aside from New Year’s Eve, which you’re usually too drunk to remember, Halloween is the only holiday that you’ll be surrounded by single people your own age. Don’t let the night end without scoring a kiss from the sexiest ghost you see.
6. Keeping Warm
On Christmas, you know it’s essential for you to bundle up, and you don’t argue the fact. On Halloween, you’re going to slip into a short dress, even if the weatherman tells you it’s going to pour and the temperature will drop to zero. You had your outfit picked out ages ago, and you won’t let a bit of rain ruin your plans. You’ll need to find some other way to keep warm, and what’s warmer than a man’s arms?
7. Weekend Fun
This doesn’t apply every year, but in 2014, the holiday falls on a Friday. That means you won’t have to wake up early the next day to crawl out of a stranger’s bed and over to your office. You have all weekend to deal with your hangover and swap stories with your friends about whom went home with the geekiest guy.
While there’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand, you have to be smart about it. Don’t go home with someone you can’t describe for a police sketch artist, because he refuses to remove his mask. You can’t assume that every man that shows up at your BFF’s party will be safe, so get the deets on him before you go down on him.
Holly Riordan | News Cult