What Having Divorced Parents Has Taught Me
I grew up with divorced parents. They didn’t get divorced as I was growing up, they were basically divorced the entire time, whether or not it was legally finalized. The time when they were together during my childhood is extremely foggy and unreal, seeing as it was before I was six years old. Everything after that was them apart. Yeah, it was difficult at times, but I don’t know if it was really any more difficult than growing up with parents who stayed married. The difficulties were just…different. There were benefits, too, I received double presents and double parties and sometimes double attention (something I definitely appreciated.) This is not an article about how it was a struggle to have divorced parents, or about how hard it was on me as a kid, and how negatively it impacted my childhood. Nor is it an article about how having divorced parents can be a blessing, or that it made me so much better as a person because of it. I don’t necessarily agree or disagree with any of those things, but I think the most important aspect of having divorced parents my whole life is everything I’ve learned from it, both good and bad.
I’ve learned that not everything has the picture-perfect happy ending and not all relationships last forever. In fact, most don’t. Luckily, this hasn’t jaded me in any way or made me never want to get married based solely on the fact that my parents’ marriage didn’t work. On the contrary, I would very much like to get married. I think making that commitment even with the somewhat depressing odds, makes it that much more romantic. However, I will wait until I am at least 99% confident that the choice to get married is the right one.
I’ve learned that no matter how hard you try to act mature and like an adult, emotions usually overpower that. I know my parents did everything they could to be civil and control themselves in front of us kids. There were times, though, where the anger or the sadness or frustration got the best of them. They always did their best, though, and I can appreciate that.
I’ve learned that sometimes people stop loving each other. This was probably the most difficult lesson to learn, and sometimes it’s still very hard for my to accept this as true. But it is. There is no rhyme or reason to it, but people can go from being very much in love to…just not. It’s something no one really wants to believe, but I understand now that I have to.
I’ve learned that stepparents can be the best thing to happen to someone. If my parents had never divorced, I never would have gotten my stepmom and stepdad, and they are some of the best people I’ve known. I’m so lucky to have been blessed with them in my life, even though I have always been familiar with how stepparents are portrayed in movies and on TV. It’s nothing like that. I love my stepparents with my whole heart.
I’ve learned that life goes on. Things fall apart, wonderful relationships end, love goes away. But after all of this, the world still keeps spinning, cars keep on moving, people get older, and everything still goes on happening. A lot of times, something even better and more beautiful comes out on the other side of something so terrible. As sad as it is, it’s comforting in a way. Even when one thing ends, there is still so much that can still happen, so it’s not really the end at all.
Kaitlyn Seabury | News Cult