The Five Stages of Grief in Alice Glass Gifs That Capture Exactly How Traumatized You Are by Crystal Castles’ Breakup

Crystal Castles a̶s̶c̶e̶n̶d̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶    came onto the scene in early 2004, when 15 year old Margaret Osborne, (AKA Alice Glass: a teen runaway from an all-girl punk band who lived in a commune of hobos,) recorded vocals over a few glitchy electro tracks of death metal veteran and emo Severus Snape impersonator, Ethan Kath (as in CATHeter.) Their sound engineer secretly recorded the results and an EP was released that temporarily broke the internet. They’ve kept their hardcore edge ever since, getting kicked out of their own shows (underage drinking and inciting riots) calling out mainstream artists like Katy Perry for “selling sex to children

Then, created three frenzied, brilliant, and deeply original albums, i, ii, and iii. Which is why we needed some serious decompressing when we found out as of yesterday afternoon, CC is no more.


Um… xxzxcuzx me?

Alice probably got hacked. Or maybe she left her phone lying around in a debated warehouse after a rave and one of the crust punk kids living in the shafters is playing a really subtle yet hitting-close-to-home prank on us. Good one crusty steve, you really had us there.


Oh come the F on. Why Alice, Why??!! Crystal Castles simply isn’t Crystal Castles without our lead girl banging down full bottles of whiskey on stage and punching creepy dudes out at her shows, navigating between screaming her face off, singing like an angel, and distorting her voice to sound like batman on drugs in space. I never got to see them live! Enduring bodily harm at a Crystal Castles show was totally on my bucket list.


Please. One more album. C’mon. Tribute concert? Reunion Tour? GOD. What I wouldn’t give to be there, getting punched in the face by a flailing adult man going way too hard to Crystal’s Castles hectic yet melodically effervescent beat.


Well. This is it. Crystal Castles is dead and I’m floating on an unforgiving spiraling rock in space and life is as directionless and fragile as I’ve always known but never confronted. Reality is an illusion.  All I have are my memories of a wasted youth.


Sigh. Of course we will Alice. You’re a true artist and inspiration. Thank you for the past 10 sick years, you fucking maniac.

Update: As of today, Crystal Castles manager hinted the bands end may just be the beginning. “There will be twists and turns for Crystal Castles, I wouldnt bury the dead just yet!”

Who knows? We may just get IV after all.

Constance Lowe | News Cult