How Long Should You Wait to Give it Up?
When it comes to dating, there are a lot of firsts. The first date, the first kiss, the first car ride/train ride/bus ride, your first time introducing him to your friends, and the list goes on and on. All of these things make the beginning of a relationship fun and exciting. Each new first brings two people closer and closer and helps each of you develop a comfort level, which at the end of the day – is absolutely everything.
Through each first you go through with someone you’re dating, you get to know them a little better & regularly make the decision to either continue seeing them or to break things off. Assumingly, the longer you’re dating someone, the more comfortable you are with that person. When it comes to the progress of the relationship, emotionally and physically, comfort becomes important. Can you open up to this person? Are you comfortable wearing PJs around him? Has he seen you without mascara and still bothered to kiss you?
All of these things lead to answering the question most of have when we’re dating someone – how long should we wait until we have sex? I’m here to argue that there isn’t a definitive time frame or magical date number that we should all be waiting for. The truth is, you can go on 10 dates with someone and not be comfortable with them. Alternatively, you can go on 3 dates with someone and feel like you know them your entire life. This makes it really hard to make a judgment call on when the right time is, which is exactly why comfort is so important.
When you’ve reached the point where you’re completely okay being yourself around someone (and you aren’t ordering salads on every date) then it doesn’t really matter what date number it is. We all think that by keeping someone waiting longer we maintain an air of mystery or that somehow we keep their interest longer. But chances are, if you have a dull personality, they won’t stick around long enough to find out exactly how long they’ll have to wait.
Women and men both face this issue. Women don’t want me to think they’re slutty and men don’t want women to think they’re only after them for sex. It’s quite a tricky balance to strike, unless you’re comfortable with the other person. It’s about the laughs you share, his ability to tease you, your ability to laugh at yourself, how seriously you take each other’s commentary – all these things create a zone of acceptance that’s free of judgment between the two of you that results in the perfect atmosphere to have sex. The last thing anyone would want is the have sex with someone who is scrutinizing their every move and judging every single thing about them. So stop counting dates & waiting for a magical number to appear.
The truth is, no matter how long you wait to have sex with someone, they can still leave you at any time.
Veronika Klebanova | News Cult