8 Easy Steps to Eliminate Someone from Your Life
I firmly believe in fighting to keep the people you love in your life. There is no valid excuse in consciously allowing an important relationship to dissolve with absolutely no effort in reconciling your differences.
The only thing that separates us from the animals is higher cognitive function, right? Use it. Exhaust every outlet, every resource, and every ritual of apology from East to West until you’ve fixed what is broken.
I want to be clear that I am in no way suggesting that humans are disposable. However, there are certain people that simply have no business being in your life. At a certain point, after all means of forgiveness, change, and compromise have been exhausted and things still aren’t working, it’s time to start cutting off the dead weight.
The saying that “people don’t change” is only half bullshit. Some people are very capable of change, whereas others are fated to remain the same forever. This is a characteristic you need to determine before implementing the following 10 steps.
You need to sit down and truly figure out whether you believe this person is capable of transformation.
If and only if the relationship is past the point of return then do yourself a favor—walk away.
I used the word “easy” in the title because frankly I think people are a bit too dramatic when it comes to calling it quits. Your mind is incredibly powerful and when handled correctly you are very capable of forgetting about someone who has hurt you, lied to you repeatedly, taken advantage of you, broken your heart—so on and so forth with the list of all the shitty things humans do to one another.
Whenever I watch “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, I think to myself “holy shit, what I would give to be able to undergo a procedure like that.”
Then it hit me, I don’t need a procedure to selectively erase emotional memories from my brain, I can do it myself and here’s how
People tend to think that opposite of “love” is “hate” but that’s not the case. Hate and love are two-sides of the same coin. The opposite of love, is indifference. You need to force yourself to not care about this individual in any capacity—positive or negative. Saying you hate someone means you still care and frankly it’s exhausting. Let go of any emotion regarding this person. Easier said than done, but doable, I promise.
Outta’ Sight, Outta’ Mind
This one is pretty easy. Don’t physically see this person, don’t look at pictures—just generally avoid all visual stimulation of their stupid face (semi-kidding about the stupid part).
The Bad and The Ugly
Notice how I left out the good? You should do the same. Humans (women especially) tend to focus on the happier times when they find themselves coping with loss. This person is out of your life for a reason. Sure, we can’t negate the fact that they made you smile, laugh, love, whatever—but the fact of the matter is that the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. If you flood your brain with positive memories you are going to trick yourself into forgetting the bad—don’t romanticize reality, face it.
Sayonara Social Media
Is this petty? Yes. Should it stop you from doing it? No. Delete them off of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, your old Myspace page—just get rid of them. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to see what they’re doing, who they’re doing, where they are, so on and so forth.
Get a Hobby
Run, read, knit, cook meth—do whatever you need to do to distract yourself. Boredom is a dangerous thing, especially when you’re used to spending time with someone in particular.
Recognize that Closure is a Myth
Closure is the idea that the relationship can be brought to a single conclusion. People tend to think it’s possible to have one final, amicable conversation about why everything fell apart followed by one big fluffy hug. That’s not how things work. Chances are if you think closure is necessary, than you’ve already had countless conversations with this person about “ending things”. What’s the point of one more? It makes everything that much more painful. Just rip the Band-Aid off.
Find a Replacement
You know how they say “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else?” There’s definitely some truth to that but that’s only if the relationship you’re ending is physical. Having said that, the foundation of that statement is essentially to find another individual capable of filling the void the other one has left. Another cliché statement would be, “out with the old, in with the new.”
You need to pull a Psych: 101 and trick yourself into truly believing that this person doesn’t exist. This means no calling and no texting. While deleting this person’s number is entirely beneficial, I have a less conventional suggestion. Save their number under a name that will remind you exactly why you aren’t speaking to them: “liar,” “hypocrite,” home-wrecker”—these are all suitable examples. Eventually you will begin to associate their real name with the one you’ve given them, thus dehumanizing them before hopefully forgetting them completely.
Melissa Copelton | News Cult