28 Thoughts Every Jew Has on Yom Kippur

It’s that time of year again kids. Yom Kippur. You remember, that time where you have to starve to death in order to repent for your sins. Yea, that one. It’s the one we all hate but can’t say we hate. Yom Kippur starts of Friday at sun down, good luck!

Here are the 28 thoughts every Jew has on Yom Kippur:

  1. Errmaagod, Yom Kippur is tomorrow.
  2. What do I want to eat to start fast?
  3. Chinese…duh.
  4. Chinese people love jews.
  5. Can’t wait to order Chinese for Christmas and watch Home Alone. 
  6. What every happened to the kid in Home Alone?
  7. He’s like a crackhead now right?
  8. What time does fast start?
  9. I bet it’s like 27 hours this year.
  10. Definitely not walking around all day, fuck that.
  12. There go my plans.
  13. Not like I had plans away.
  14. I never do anything fun anymore.
  15. I’m still gonna brush my teeth, I don’t care.
  16. I just won’t do anything else.
  17. Is it cheating if I watch t.v.?
  18. I should probably Google what you can and can’t do.
  19. Is it wrong to hate Yom Kippur?
  20. Because I hate Yom Kippur.
  21. Sorry God.
  22. Why do I have to fast?
  23. I didn’t even do anything “sinful” this year.
  24. Did I?
  25. If I can’t remember it, it doesn’t count.
  26. OMG, I can’t wait for to break fast with bagels!
  27. Definitely getting an everything bagel.
  28. White fish salad, please.

Gayana Sark | News Cult