The Struggle: Relationship vs. Single Friends

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Having faithful friends is a beautiful thing and being in a faithful relationship is just as beautiful. Unfortunately for some people it’s a struggle to find the balance between their mate and their social life. As mentioned in a previous article, having your mate and your friends build a bond is important. It makes it easier to have everyone get along rather than having the two parties dislike each other. Sometimes the hardest bonds to build between the two parties are those between your mate and your single friends.

One thing life teaches us is that we can’t always have what we want. Although life would be much easier and less complicated if everyone got along, but we have to accept the fact that we will always have at least one friend or friends who refuse to get along with our mate and most times those are the friends who are still single.

Single friends can either make or break your relationship. On one hand they can be a reminder of how happy you are to have the person you’re with, but on the other hand they can make you feel like because you’re “tied down”, you’re missing out on so much fun. This is normally where things get complicated and relationships, on both ends, get tested.

Here are 5 reasons why it’s hard to have single friends when you’re in a relationship:

1. You get jealous of their freedom:

Sometimes relationships can be a little smothering. Your mate may want to be under you or around you all the time, but you just want a little time alone. Getting freedom while in a relationship is not as easy as you may think. You have to spend an overwhelming amount of time explaining to your mate that a little space is a good thing. It could become a bit over bearing that you’re unable to move as freely as you would like and when you see your single friends out and about moving without a care in the world you tend to become a little jealous. It might even cause you to begin to question if a relationship is what you really want or do you want your freedom back.

In these cases you have to learn to stop comparing the two situations. Remind yourself, not to be funny, but when all is said and done, whether you feel smothered or not, you get to end your day with someone you love while your friend is ending their day alone or with just another person out of their “black book”.

2. They are envious of your relationship:

Sometimes your relationship could be an inspiration to some of your single friends. They may idealize the bond you and your mate have and inspire to build a relationship of their own just as strong as yours. On the other hand, you may have a single friend or friends who envy your relationship. They want what you have and can’t figure out how or why you have it and they don’t.

This can cause tension between you and that friend or friends. While your wrapped up in your world of love, their wrapped up in their world of “how did you get them”, “how are you keeping them”, “how can I/we break them up”. Beware of these types of friends. They will always be more harmful than helpful.

3. It’s a fight for your attention:

When your single friends and mate don’t get along it becomes a game of tug of war. Each side is fighting for your time and attention, and you’re stuck in the middle trying to figure things out. If you choose to spend time with your friends, especially the ones your mate doesn’t care for, your mate will get upset and feel like you constantly choose them over your relationship. If you choose to spend time with your mate and not your friends, they will feel like you’re constantly choosing your mate over them.

This is never an easy task and most times it can become very stressful, but somehow you have to find the silver lining that will keep you balanced and keep both parties happy.

4. They find constant flaws with your partner:

In some friendships, your friends can see things about your mate that you are blinded to. As true friends, it is their job to point these things out to you. Not to try to intentionally ruin your relationship, but to give you a warning or a heads up on what to expect. No matter what you decide they will be there for you 100 percent. But there is always going to be that one single friend who no matter what will find something negative to say about the person you’re with.

In cases such as this your friend or friends are either jealous or selfish.

5. Your significant other does not trust you spending time with them:

Generally having single friends while you’re in a relationship can make your mate uneasy especially if the two parties don’t get along. When having outings with these friends, your mate may feel as though they will try to convince you to do something that would jeopardize your relationship. This could cause a lot of unwanted tension on both ends. On one hand your mate is becoming extremely insecure and on the other hand your single friend or friends are enjoying the constant debates between you two which make you feel unsure of their friendship.

Akeera Weathers | News Cult