Games We All Play in Relationships (Whether we Admit it or Not)

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Regardless of what anyone says or claims, we all have certain little games that we play in our relationships. Even in platonic ones! These can be games for the upper hand or just for self-preservation. Sometimes these games can be a result of selfishness or narcissism, and sometimes they can be a result of sadness and jealousy. A lot of times, we don’t even realize we are playing them. But we alllllll do.

The “I’m going to act super casual about everything” game:

This is a game we play when we want to come across like we don’t really care that much, and nothing is that much of a big deal. This one can be very subtle, so we may not always even be consciously aware that we are playing. Acting extremely casual helps us protect our feelings and our raw emotions. We do this in our constant efforts to not get hurt by anyone.

The “I’m not going to respond right away” game:

This is when we purposely wait a certain amount of time before we get back to someone. Whether it’s returning a call or a text, sometimes we intentionally wait longer than necessary so we do not appear overly eager. This just ties in with the casual game. Feeling like we are the ones who are taking longer to respond gives us the impression of power or upper hand in the relationship. This lets us feel in control, of both the interaction and our feelings.

The “I’m going to go out and have a good time, so there” game:

This is a game we play because of jealousy, usually. If we feel threatened in a relationship, our first instinct is to show the other person that we don’t need them to have fun or have a good time; or that we don’t need them at all. So we go out with our friends or to the bar or to a party because of this. A lot of times we don’t even realize we are actually playing this game, but we are.

The “I am way too busy and important” game:

This game if often played towards the beginning of a relationship, when we want to make sure the other person knows that we are independent and lead a very fulfilling life completely on our own. We sometimes will make plans on purpose (whether we are even aware of what we are doing or not) just in order to demonstrate that we have extremely busy lives with or without the other person.

The “I cannot get hurt” game:

None of us want to get hurt; our number one objective in relationships is usually to avoid getting hurt at all costs. Because of this, we end up coming across as if we are unable to get hurt at all. This is just another game we play to protect ourselves; to keep our feelings from getting hurt and keep our emotions in tact. We try so hard to seem as if we are bulletproof and unshakeable in hopes of this actually making us bulletproof and unshakeable.

Kaitlyn Seabury | News Cult