50 Thoughts Every Jew Has on Rosh Hashanah

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  1. OMG, today is Rosh Hashanah?
  2. Do I get to leave work early?
  3. Wait, can I take off the rest of the week?
  4. Probably
  5. Hopefully
  6. Which one is Rosh Hashanah again?
  7. Is this where we starve?
  8. Hell no!!
  9. We definitely eat for this one.
  10. Are there presents?
  11. No, that’s Hanukkah.
  12. When is Hanukkah?
  13. I hope I get money for Hanukkah …
  14. … Am I too old to get Gelt?
  15. 25 is still young
  16. OMG
  17. I’m 25
  18. What am I doing with my life…
  19. OMG, my family is going to ask me that at Rosh Hashanah dinner.
  20. Better they ask that than when I’m getting married.
  21. 25 and single … score.
  22. Shit, this means Yom Kippur is coming.
  23. I’m getting hungry
  24. Is it wrong to eat bacon on Rosh Hashanah?
  25. Probably shouldn’t
  26. Probably will anyway
  27. I wonder who’s coming to dinner tonight?
  28. Maybe I should call my mom and ask …
  29. Nevermind that’s going to turn into a 2 hour conversation
  30. Nice, we have to eat apples and honey today
  31. Still have no idea what that’s for
  32. I should probably Google that
  33. Crap, I’m hungry again
  34. Why can’t Jews have cool holidays like Christmas
  35. I love Christmas
  36. I love Santa
  37. Is that wrong?
  38. Hell no, Santa’s awesome
  39. Am I too old to go sit on Santa’s lap?
  40. Probably
  41. Should still consider it though
  42. Ok, so it’s 3 p.m. can I leave now?
  43. Ugh, I love being Jewish, we always get to leave work early
  44. Even though I’m not religious
  45. But nobody needs to know that
  46. Maybe I should wear a long skirt next time to prove a point
  47. It’s prefect weather for a nice skirt
  48. Do I have time to go shopping before I go home?
  49. Hmmmm
  50. Obviously!!!

Gayana Sark | News Cult