Saturday Night Play-by-Play: 100 Thoughts That Every 20-Something Woman Has Before Going Out


  1. What am I going to wear?
  2. Who’s going to be there?
  3. Should I shave my legs?
  4. Is it worth getting out of bed?
  5. Who’s driving?
  6. I should shower now
  7. I’ll shower in 10 minutes
  8. Actually I can wait another 20
  9. I don’t know if I want to drink
  10. I hate having a hangover
  11. It won’t be fun without alcohol
  12. Since when are things not fun without alcohol?
  13. Since High School, that’s when
  14. I have no clothes
  15. Do I have enough money for this?
  16. Can I pay for drinks with quarters?
  17. Is there anything good on my Netflix queue?
  18. I’m going to wait until people get there, then I’ll decide
  19. Is that rude?
  20. Yes
  21. What’s the weather like?
  22. My hair isn’t cooperating
  23. I don’t want to put makeup on
  24. I don’t want to put pants on
  25. Do I have to wear a bra with this shirt?
  26. Does this need to be ironed?
  27. I’ll just use my hair straightener
  28. I want to wear my hair up
  29. Never mind, everyone else’s will be down
  30. Why do I care?
  31. Do I have time to nap?
  32. Should I eat first?
  33. I don’t want to be bloated
  34. I don’t want to drink on an empty stomach either
  35. I’ll eat lightly
  36. One slice of pizza (3 slices)
  37. What time is it?
  38. Do you think they’ll leave without me?
  39. Why is my favorite movie on TV right now?
  40. I’m only going to watch for 5 minutes
  41. I’ll just leave it on in the background while I get dressed
  42. It won’t distract me
  43. ……..
  44. What was I doing?
  45. I still haven’t showered
  46. Do I even have to shower?
  47. When was the last time I washed my hair?
  48. Are these jeans clean?
  49. *sniffs, shrugs* I’ll wash them after tonight
  50. Wait, could I pull of a dress instead?
  51. No, too complicated
  52. Heels or flats?
  53. I wish I could just wear sneakers
  54. Do I have to bring a jacket?
  55. I hate bringing a jacket
  56. I’ve lost 3 in the past year already
  57. I want to carry a small bag
  58. I only really need my phone and wallet
  59. Wait I also need my mirror, hair brush, lip gloss and house keys
  60. I guess I’ll be taking a bigger purse after all
  61. Shit, I haven’t checked my phone
  62. 76 text messages is excessive
  63. Group texts are overwhelming
  64. At least I still have some time
  65. I’m getting in the shower now
  66. That was refreshing
  67. I wish I could have stayed in there longer
  68. Should I do my hair or makeup first?
  69. Is there a proper order?
  70. I’m still hungry
  71. If I were a guy this would be much simpler
  72. I wonder if there’s a Law and Order: SVU marathon on
  73. Of course there is
  74. I’ll only watch the beginning of this episode
  75. How did I let a whole hour go by
  76. That was a great episode though
  77. Ice T is a surprisingly entertaining guy
  78. I have 30 minutes to put myself together
  79. This should be an interesting test of my multitasking skills
  80. I’ve tried on 5 outfits already
  81. I have no idea which one to go with
  82. I shouldn’t have worn this color lipstick
  83. I’m just going to wear the first thing I picked out
  84. Where is my cell phone?
  85. Another 30 texts
  86. Great, we still don’t know how we’re getting there
  87. Should I ask my mom?
  88. This wouldn’t be an issue if I lived in a city
  89. Or generally just not with my parents
  90. Are we drinking before we go out?
  91. I have no alcohol
  92. Why didn’t I stop at the liquor store?
  93. Do I have time to do that first?
  94. Oh shit I need to leave in 5 minutes
  95. I look presentable
  96. I can’t breathe in these pants
  97. Beauty is pain, right?
  98. Alright, now I’m excited to go out
  99. Let me check my purse one last time
  100. I can’t wait to come home and eat leftover pizza