10 Ridiculous Things You Can Do If You Won The Lottery

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They called your number. Wow! Gotta love that Powerball! You’ve won the lottery! Finally your ship has come in. You run screaming around the house pulling apart everything and searching for THE WISH LIST that you had written before someone told you what a fool you were.

With trembling hands you pull THE LIST from beneath a pile of dirty clothes and dishes.

Your eyes glaze over. You gulp hard. The paper shakes in your hands. Somewhere the kids are screaming. The smoke alarm has gone off. Then you begin to read:

How I will live when I win the Lottery:

  1. You can now vacation in style. You have had your eye on that gold RV for quite some time. No more truckin’ along feeling every bump of the open road and sleeping on your kitchen table/bed. It will be chauffeur driven and he will wear a uniform. He’s on your payroll and he will say, “Yes, madam,” often.
  2. Tucked inside your golden RV is a tricked out bathroom, and you will be reaching for golden toilet paper. It’s a big change from using a pot.
  3. As you leave your fancy commode you reach for your golden toothbrush and spread it with luxury toothpaste. Your pearly whites are an investment.
  4. You then pass through your kitchen, mutter “yum” and sink your teeth into the world’s most expensive donut with a price tag of $1000 from Krispy Kreme.
  5. You fly in your gold private jet to your luxury suite in Abu Dhabi. It is the world’s highest suite in the world. It is now reserved in your name. As a matter of fact, it will always be reserved in your name.
  6. The baby is crying and so you pop her black diamond adorned pacifier in her mouth. She sucks on it contentedly – wouldn’t you?
  7. Next, you pull on your diamond encrusted boots, hand out diamond covered lunch boxes to your kids, and plan your vacation in the UK. You are on the hunt for specialty candy robots, hidden throughout the UK with precious jewels and valuable coins imbedded inside their gooey centers.
  8. With a pat on the head you say goodbye to your children as they fly off for their daily trip to school on your private golden jet. Yay no more carpooling!
  9. At the club, you celebrate the day’s triumphs on the golf course with a golden cake.
  10. Your architect shows you his latest plans for your new ahem, house, with the added doggy suite for your pride and joy. Precious needs her own suite in case she is having a bad day. It has custom built in shelves for her water dish and bowl, velvet cushions, and several designer outfits and booties hanging in her closet. All hung at a level where she can pick out her favorite ensemble. Accessories included, of course.

It’s a tough life.

Patti Emanuele | News Cult