Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Jealousy in a Relationship

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Jealousy is a part of every relationship, regardless of age or gender. It’s only natural to feel a little territorial and protective over the people we love. That being said, jealousy has the enormous potential to become unhealthy, detrimental, and sometimes dangerous. There is a very fine line between healthy and unhealthy jealousy that a great deal of people, men and women alike, cross. Some people can convince themselves that unless the other person is insanely jealous that means s/he doesn’t like us, or if the other person is insanely jealous, s/he is only is that way because s/he loves us so much. There are a few big differences between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship, and knowing these can be vital.

Healthy: Feeling twinges of envy when your partner goes out with other people or is having a fun time without you, but knowing that you are two individual people who deserve freedom and space.

Unhealthy: Restricting or forbidding your partner to go out with other people or have a fun time with out you; thinking that everything you both do should be done together.

Healthy: Establishing a certain understanding of what both of you want, in terms of communicating with one another while apart. For example, letting your partner know it makes you feel a lot better if s/he calls you when s/he gets home, so you know everything is OK.

Unhealthy: Enforcing rigid rules and guidelines for your partner. For example, forcing and expecting him/her to call you a certain number of times a day and talk to you a certain amount, then becoming angry when these rules and guidelines are not adhered to.

Healthy: Wondering what your partner is doing when s/he isn’t around because you care about and miss him/her; wishing you were together.

Unhealthy: Obsessively checking up on your partner when s/he isn’t with you, becoming angry when you don’t know every detail of what s/he is doing without you, and, in some extreme cases, physically following your partner in order to keep tabs on him/her.

Healthy: Feeling slightly uncomfortable when you see him/her being friendly or engaging with members of the opposite sex (or the same sex, whatever the case may be) but understanding that people can be friendly without any subtext, and friendliness is something you probably want in a partner, anyways.

Unhealthy: Automatically assuming everyone your partner talks to is a threat, and that s/he must be cheating on you if s/he is being friendly with someone else.

Healthy: Understanding that your partner has the right to self-expression when it comes to clothing, but also not wanting him/her to receive any inappropriate or unwanted attention.

Unhealthy: Monitoring what your partner wears, and becoming angry or even not allowing him/her to wear certain things due to the risk of people looking at him/her.

Kaitlyn Seabury | News Cult

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