Booty Call Etiquette for When You Want a Little Late Night Loving

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It’s past midnight and you’re all alone, wishing someone other than your cat was lying on top of you. You’re not in a relationship, so you haven’t gotten busy in weeks, but you’re all ready to go. There’s nothing wrong with a random hook up every once in a while, so you grab your phone to text someone special (or let’s face it, someone hot). You want to enjoy the night as much as you can, so don’t forget to follow these booty call tips.

  1. Pick Your Poison

Even if you’re not the best at reading people, you can usually figure out which of your friends are DTF and which would be insulted by a sexual offer. Text the person that you think will accept your invitation, because you don’t want to lose a friend over your horniness. Some people are more conservative than others.

  1. Clear Intentions

If you want sex without the chitchat, don’t invite the person out for a fancy dinner. You don’t want your offer to be mistaken for a date or a casual hangout. Make it clear that you want to get dirty, so that they’ll know what to expect. It would be a shame to get dressed all sexy, drive for an hour to their house, and then realize that they actually wanted to watch a movie together, because they didn’t understand your subtext. Be blunt if you need to be.

  1. Don’t Lie

White lies, like telling them they look great naked, are more than welcome. But don’t pretend that you’re interested in a relationship with them if you’re not. No one deserves to be tricked. For some people, sex and love go hand in hand, and you need to respect that.

  1. Skip the Chitchat

You don’t have to talk during sex, and you shouldn’t be hanging around them for long before or after intercourse. That means you shouldn’t ask them how their family is doing or if their grandmother is out of the hospital. If you’re friends, you can catch up the next time you see them, and if you’re practically strangers, you don’t really care anyway.

  1. Get Out Fast

You’re not dating, so don’t expect breakfast in bed the next morning. If you fall asleep right after you do the deed, bolt as soon as you wake up. If they stayed at your place, give them some money for a taxi or mention how you have to get ready for work. They’ll get the hint.

  1. What You Want?

Make sure that you’re actually in the mood for sex, and not just lonely or bored. If calling up your parents to tell them about your new job will make you just as happy as an orgasm, you might want to try that before you search for a new sexual partner. Intercourse isn’t always the answer.

  1. Safe Sex

It’s not very sexy to lean in close to your lover, whisper that you’re clean, and then ask when their last STD test was, but it’s important information. You don’t want one night of fun to end with a lifetime of warts. Just stay safe, and always use protection.

Holly Riordan | News Cult

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