College Life: Expectations vs. Reality

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1.) Expectation: 24/7 partying will be the norm and your liver will hate you by Sunday.

Reality: Unfortunately, the reality is that most nights you’ll end up simply passing out in the dorms. This doesn’t mean a great time wasn’t had by all and that you didn’t get respectively drunk enough for your pre-game to nowhere.

 

2.) Expectation: “I’m going to have a blast with my new roommates!”

Reality: You will end up in a triple with a kid who has a lazy eye, another fellow with some serious B.O. and a skinhead from Jackson, Mississippi. Sleep with your back to the wall and get that industrial strength Febreze. Buy an eye patch as well.

 

3.)Expectation: I will combat the dreaded ‘Freshman 15’ through determination and strong will.

Reality: The amount of excessive eating and drinking you’ll do will make you feel shameful. Your strong will left campus about two weeks in, and that freshman 15 has become 30 as final week approaches.

 

4.) Expectation: “College parties will be just like the movies!”

Reality: Basement frat parties are hot, dark and tightly packed and as a result very awkward. The drinks are watered down (lucky if water is all that’s added) and cops are pounding down the door as you speak to break up everyone’s “fun.”

 

5.) Expectation: Sign up for that 8am class thinking, “How bad could it be, I did this in high school?”

Reality: Quickly acknowledging this terrible mistake. You rarely make it to this class and you have no idea what the teachers name is.

 

6.) Expectation: “I did pretty well in high school I should be fine.”

Reality: High school grades mean nothing here. Schedules and workloads are harsher, and teachers are not as friendly.

 

7.Expectation: Major in engineering, how hard can it be?

Reality: After your first semester you quickly decide that you don’t want to build jack shit. You run to the liberal arts building.

 

8.) Expectation: Finals week approaching, library will be my new home.

Reality: You make it to the library the day before the test and pull an all-nighter until the exam at 3pm the next day. Coffee, Redbull and adderall are the lifeblood of champions.

 

9.) Expectation: Me and only me will be having sex on MY bed. (God willing)

Reality: Your roommate’s sheets were in the wash so he, “had to do what he had to do.” You understand to a certain degree, but you’re still flipping the mattress.

 

10.) Expectation: Freshman year is one year-long giant dance party that forever changes your life as you transition from child to young adult.

Reality: You come home fatter, stupider (ironically) and having seen and participated in things that no one should have to bare witness to.

Adam Giladi | News Cult

 

 

 

 

 

 

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